Saturday, December 2, 2017

Why Being an Introvert Doesn't Mean I am Always Antisocial

I'm not shy, and that's not a problem.

Originally published on April 18, 2016

Humanity likes to divide itself into two groups as often as it can. One of these ways is introverts versus extroverts. And in this world of connectivity, guess which one is seen as positive and which one is negative? Introverts often are subject to labels such as antisocial, nerdy, and, my least favorite, shy. Extroverts are the people’s people, directly engaged in class, involved in the social scene, and praised for their popularity. I personally believe every person is not one extreme or the other, but there are those who like to view the world in extremes.

I know I lean more towards introverted than extroverted, and I don’t need a MBTI test to tell me that! My definition of an introvert is someone who prefers the company of themselves over the company of others. I do spend a lot of my time alone by myself. This does not mean I am a hermit! I like going shopping and going out to eat. I have attended campus events and club meetings. I do things with others. But if I had to choose, there are many days I would rather stay in than go out.

Even now in college I have had adults ask me if I was shy (or the dreaded “Why don’t you talk in class? You have such great ideas in your papers!”). I am not necessarily shy, or timid, or afraid of other people. If there is nothing for me to say, I say nothing. I prefer to listen to debates and keep my opinion to myself rather than share. I do not feel the need to fill a void with useless chatter or make friends with every person I meet. But if the situation calls for it, I will speak. I know how to make friends. I give my opinions, but in written form.

My favorite thing about introverts is our tendency to get extremely excited about certain subjects. When that comes up, others can see us become rather different as our passion for that subject is obvious. We cannot stop talking about our experiences and share much more than is necessary. People have told me I light up when I start talking about certain things. That is because I like that subject and it is special to me in some way. Very rarely would something like that come up in class, which is why I, and some other introverts, do not ask questions or start arguments just because.  

Introverts prefer to become close to a small amount of people. We can focus much of our “other people” energy on a few people or a little on many. Too many drains us faster and that is when we have to recharge by ourselves. During the first few weeks of college I looked forward to when I could be alone, just because I was meeting so many people in a short amount of time and needed to be by myself!


The overall message here is to the introverts to be proud of who you are and to the extroverts to gain a little understanding as to what we are like. Remember everyone is different, everyone interacts with others differently, everyone learns differently. Everyone is a mixture of introverted and extroverted and one side is not better or worse than the other. 

No comments:

Post a Comment